But I'm Married!
by HPITBBE
Summary: AU LJ. "You're a thousand times better looking, and a million times more fanciable." Lily said sharply. "Doesn't make him look like less of a model," Dean said, amused. R&R?


**Disclaimer: Don't own anything that JKR created. I only own the OC's and plot and flavor.**

**R&R?**

**Have a nice day (:**

* * *

"I want Evans in my office," James Potter growled. "Now." His tall frame hovered over one of his most skilled Aurors, who barely flinched.

"Right away, Mr. Potter," a tall blond drawled lazily. He didn't bother to ask why he would need a witch that wasn't an Auror…James Potter gets what James Potter wants. He lightly cleared his throat as James sauntered off heatedly. He waited until James rounded the corner so that he could take out a large, jagged piece of glass.

"Lily," he called. He waited patiently for her voice to respond, and he leaned back in his chair comfortably.

"I'm kind of busy, Dean," he heard Lily say in a rush. He heard rustling and dropped supplies. "Oh, bugger," she muttered.

"Is everything…alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine," Lily said breathlessly. "Just…oh, I don't know! Maybe I need to relax, but I really need to get this brief done, and I have several papers to - "

"Potter wants you," Dean cut in. He listened as she stopped moving around and watched as her face turned weary.

"Why must he butt in at the most inopportune time?" she grumbled. "He's not even in my division and he's barking."

"I don't know, but he sounded livid, and his face was a lovely shade of puce," Dean remarked.

"Just because he's Head Aurordoes not give him the right to just demand to see him when I'm working," Lily hissed, suddenly very wired up. "I don't need any more stress, and him up my arse - "

"Just go see him, Lily."

"Why should I? They moved me to this horrid new division against my will, and I have about six briefs to complete by tomorrow," she said angrily. He saw her cross her arms stubbornly. He figured the mirror was somewhere on a shelf, or desk. He bit back a smile.

"Look, you're part of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, basically, and he works hard to make sure those laws are enforced, so, it's not like he came completely out of no where. And this isn't the first time."

Lily sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "He's just infuriating. Where is he?"

"My level, second hall, fourth cubicle following the corner," he said curtly.

"How do you know that?" she asked curiously. She narrowed her green eyes.

"He's my boss, I'm an Auror. Obviously Lily, I would know where he is."

"But Diane gave me a memo that said that - oh, never mind."

"Are we still up for lunch at noon?" he asked airily.

"If I survive attack of the Potter," Lily said dryly.

"Don't worry about it. He probably just wants advice on how to focus me. He's been irritated by my scant attention-span." He heard Lily snort and mumble, "Advice? Balderdash..."

"I just adore your mood."

"Love you," Lily said. Dean winked in response and watched as the mirror cleared, and the face of his wife vanished.

---

"Hello, Charles, how are you?" Lily asked courteously, smiling at the stenographer for the Wizengamont.

"Oh, good, _good_, thank you Lily," he said quickly, looking flustered. "Where are you off to?" He darted his eyes from left to right.

"Err, Potter wants to see me for some reason," Lily said uncertainly. Then she frowned. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Oh, yes, _yes_!" Charles said loudly. "Just looking for Mason, is all. And by the way Lily, you look lovely, _lovely_."

Lily flushed and said slowly, "Thanks. I guess I'll be going..."

"Of course, of _course_! Have a charming day!" he said brightly, tipping his head. Lily smiled uncomfortably and nodded in farewell.

Odd man, she thought airily. She walked briskly to the lift, and waited impatiently for it to arrive. When it finally came, she hopped on and said tentative greetings to a stiff-looking witch and forlorn wizard in a dark green cloak. At the second level, Lily walked off when she was stopped by a burly man with a costume-like moustache.

"Excuse me," Lily said, sidestepping to the right. The burly man mimicked her and stood resolutely in front of her.

"_Excuse me,_" Lily stressed, moving to the left. When he again mirrored her, she flared her nostrils and said in a hard voice, "Sir, kindly move aside so I can see to my commitments."

"I can't ma'am," he said in a voice that sounded like gravel.

"And why not?" she challenged. He was tiptoeing around her nerves, and she wasn't about to let a stranger get in her way. She watched through slit eyes as the man took out a familiar box.

"Oh this is just ridiculous!" Lily roared. She ignored the witches who shook their heads at her. "I didn't get any memo about new security measures!"

"Just put your wand in, ma'am."

In a huff, Lily slammed her wand into the box and watched as a thin receipt filed out. He examined the paper idly and handed it to Lily who took it and promptly stuffed it in her bag without looking.

"Thank you," Lily said briskly, and stomped off to Dean's cubicle. She passed chatting witches, papers strewn about and one snappy witch who was grumbling about the new security. Lily wanted to stop by and have a good five minutes of Ministry bashing but she soon saw Dean's blond hair in her view.

"Dean," she called out, and she watched as he turned around and grinned. He turned back around and pointed with his index finger to a corner about two cubicles ahead then to the left, where she assumed Potter was.

"Thanks, and nice talking to you," Lily said sardonically.

"After Potter," Dean said quietly. Lily rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair as she passed by him, and around the corner. There she was met by another burly man with a cartoon-like moustache. Lily raised her eyebrow.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked bluntly.

"I'm sorry?" he said gruffly.

"You were the one who stopped me from entering the Auror Headquarters - is this some kind of joke?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"No joke, ma'am. Looking for Potter?"

"I'm standing in front of his cubicle, so I must be looking for Dean Richards," Lily said sarcastically. The burly man frowned and said, "Potter's not here. Disperse."

"I don't need this," Lily groaned. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Have a good day."

Lily smiled stiffly and retreated back to her husband's cubicle. With her hands on her hips, she glared at Dean until he tacked a picture of a menacing-looking man on his billboard.

"Who's that?" Lily asked, peering closely at the man, forgetting her annoyance.

"Warner Baker," Dean said grimly. "He's my next."

Lily grimaced. "Any leads?"

"We reckon he's lurking somewhere in Scotland, maybe he's already in Africa, who knows? All I know is that Potter gave me him, and I'm going to damn get him." He looked at Lily who looked worried. She was looking at him so intently that he had that feeling again, that he was naked under a powerful magnifying glass.

"Don't worry," he murmured, and touched her cheek. She smiled faintly and sat on his desk.

"I know you can handle yourself," Lily said slowly, but even to her the words sounded empty.

"Let's talk about that when we get to it, okay?" Dean said consolingly. He stood up and gently kissed her. Lily sighed into his mouth and Dean pulled back, frowning.

"Sorry," Lily mumbled. "Just tired. And all these security measures are ridiculous."

"Tell me about it. And what's with the mustaches?" Dean snorted.

Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I think Potter's just yanking my wand."

"You didn't see his face when he asked for you. I mean, growled," Dean said. Lily was about to retort when she heard felt a presence behind Dean, but she couldn't see who it was because he was so broad-shouldered and giant-like.

"Hi, Lily!" someone said brightly. Lily looked over Dean's shoulder and saw Alice Prewitt, a skilled Auror and one of her best friends. Alice waved happily.

"Hi, Allie!" Lily said just as brightly. She hopped off and gave her a short hug.

"I get off in about thirty minutes, how 'bout you?" Alice asked.

"My shift was over about half an hour ago, but I'm behind so I stayed, and now I have to go home, cook, work, and all these things that make my head ache."

Alice lightly smacked Dean who pretended to be critically injured and said, "Help her out, Dean! Read a cookbook, you lazy arse." Lily laughed and Dean pursed his lips.

"I can cook! I just don't have time, and besides, she works, but I help her relax," he said, his voice peppered with sultry. Lily shoved him with one arm while Alice giggled. She gave a pointed look at Alice and asked her, "Can you help out a friend?"

Alice thought for a moment before giving Lily a look of pity. "How many spells do you have to test and write a report on?'

"'Bout five more," Lily grumbled and collapsed into a chair. Alice patted her shoulder gently and then glanced at her watch. "Merlin's beard! Sorry, Lily, I would love to, but I've got to meet up with Frank. Bye, Richards! Love you, Lily!"

Dean gave her a small salute and turned to his exasperated wife. "Show me what you're working on," he said warmly.

Lily got up and took out her wand tiredly. With a flourish she conjured a bright, red tomato. Looking at the tomato, Lily seemed to be hit with a new wave of determination. She prodded the still tomato sharply. It promptly burst into flames and shriveled.

"That's not my dinner, right?" Dean asked hesitantly, looking at the ashy circle surrounding the fruit.

"No," Lily said briskly. "It's an experiment to see the effects of a Grating Charm - it's new," she added upon the look on her husband's face. She sighed exasperatedly and looked at Dean warily. "These witches at Thumps were overheard speaking about it, and it's confirmed that they've invented a new charm…anyway, we know that they've registered it at the Ministry, and now we need to test the effects so that we know what limitations we need to set if people use it. And that's the job for the Head of this _stupid _new division, Accidental Innovation of Magic," she finished bitterly.

"Funny, you'd think they'd ask what the charm does before registering it," Dean snorted.

"It's not my job, Dean," Lily said patiently. "All the other people need to do is recognize that it's a new spell and register it. Obviously they know the general idea of what it does, but I have to test it…and I don't know what it does!" she huffed.

"Just don't burn all my food," Dean warned, amused at her frustration which reminded him so much of Hogwarts, when he would bug her before exams.

Lily grinned and it dropped quickly. "You see! Not even that! It doesn't burn food, all it did to the tomato was catch on fire then shrivel up!" She ran her fingers through her long, voluminous hair.

"Maybe it makes prunes," Dean suggested seriously. "Or cause it to dry up? It makes sense."

The irritable witch raised an eyebrow.

"Think about it Lily," Dean said earnestly. "Witches hate pimples and oily faces! Well, that sure explains the Grating part," he added mildly.

Lily pondered it for a moment, then shook her head furiously. "There's a ton of potions and charms to make your face less oily," she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"So?" Dean challenged. "Exactly. You said there's a ton…why not one more? They probably just fancied being part of the whole _Witch Weekly_ pimple-remover line or something."

"In any case, I need to give in a brief tomorrow..."

"Lily, relax," he pleaded. "I'll help you with it as much as I can."

Lily sighed. "We better get going before Potter catches me."

"You wouldn't mind," Dean said off-handedly, standing up.

"You're a thousand times better looking, and a million times more fanciable." Lily said sharply.

"Doesn't make him look like less of a model," Dean said, amused.

"I love you," Lily said roughly.

"I love you too," Dean said, mimicking her, making her rough declaration sound like more of a squeak.

"You're insufferable," Lily said, although she couldn't help but shooting him a goofy grin.

* * *

**Chapter One? Done.**

**What do you think?**

**Remember - BHBC**

**Be Honest. Be Constructive.**

**;)**


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